My friend suffers from low self esteem and low confidence. What can I tell him to encourage him?
I don’t really know what to tell him, but I want to help. What can I tell him to help increase his self esteem and confidence in himself? Feel free to add as much detail as you want. Thanks.
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compliment him on his traits that make him such a good friend.
There is (mostly) nothing you can say that will magick him to change. What he needs is to do stuff, get experience in success, repeatedly.
Best thing you can do as a friend is pretend he has no self esteem issues whatsoever, and hopefully every once in a while, he’ll forget it too, and gradually, those times will become more often, until one day it’s a permanent state and he esteems himself.
If you want to help rather than provide a quick bandaid, you need to find out if his low esteem and poor self confidence is due to a simple lack of experience or issues that run deeper. Self confidence is something we build slowly, as we grow up. Like those mineral deposits in caves (stalactites and stalagmites), we use positive experiences, one on top of the other, to biuld healthy self esteem. It may just be a simple issue of either reminding your friend of past successes or creating new ones to increase what he already has.
If you suspect there are deeper issues that are interfering or hijacking normal development, the best thing you can do is be sympathetic and encourage your friend to get advice from either a school counselor or similar professional. Make sure your friend knows that he’s not the only one with these kind of issues. It’s just a fact of our biology that, for example, if someone tell you you’re stupid often enough, you will start to believe it. Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it the truth.
Talk to your friend and really listen. You’d be surprised at the difference you can make by lending a sympathetic ear.
Tell him all the time that he is a wonderful person, but try to be subtle. You can say, ” Where did you get that interesting shirt? I need to buy it!”
Self-esteem is a chronic mood.
Take walks and exerise with him/her and encourage her to do sports. Also buy alot of chocolates for your friend: chocolate is thought to enhance mood.
One last thing: buy several self-esteem books and read them.